Category Archives: Transcendent Compounds

Character and Personality, Drug Law Reform, Happiness, Mysticism, Transcendent Compounds

Friendship, fear and freedom

Recently, I posted an article to Facebook, saying how I sometimes feel isolated because of my mysticism, spiritual use of drugs and drug law reform activism, none of which are well understood by many people I meet. At times, I’ve experienced such occasions as being “me against the world”, with little support from those around me, or those who “should” be there for me. 

I summed it up by saying that, at times I feel like like being “Tank Man” from  the Tiananmen  Square.

 

Tankman_new_longshot_StuartFranklin
Famous “Tank Man” image taken by Stuart Franklin.
Image Courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Needless to say, despite my concluding in the post that, “I am not Tank Man, because I have the support of the people who matter (thankfully, I am blessed with having some amazing people in my life) and the laws of the land”,  I was immediately pilloried for having the temerity to even compare myself with someone as outstandingly and anonymously brave as Tank Man.

Ironically, this put me right back in the space where I once again felt like Tank Man. In mindlessly going on the attack, they had simply reinforced the feelings and imagery that I was attempting to disown. Their actions made it clear just how few people really understand, or even care, what it can be like to take the path I have chosen.

It was a classic example of how some people are ready to take the slightest offence, and go on the offense, for fairly much everything (why people feel the need to troll other people’s Facebook posts is something I’ll never understand) and how eager people are to dismiss the possibility that someone, such as myself might feel isolated by what I do and what I have sacrificed. Among these sacrifices includes my career, financial security, family and friends.
(Indeed, social isolation is a huge issue in our modern, supposedly connected, societies and one that isn’t helped by attacking anyone who might feel that way.)
Several days after the Facebook post and just a couple of days after my arrest for the possession of LSD during a peaceful protest on the steps of the Victorian Parliament House, a person that I’ve known for a number of years texted me with the following message:
 
“Hi Greg, sorry, but, I’ve decided not to associate with somebody with a criminal record. Goodbye and good luck to you.”*
This isn’t the first time that this sort of thing has happened since I went public about my use of Transcendent Compounds for spiritual purposes. In fact, there are perhaps a dozen or more people, that I regarded as friends of one sort, or another, who have refused to associate with me and made it clear that my “drug use” was a major reason for them cutting off contact. While some of them are still “friends” on Facebook, their real life rejection really hurts. 
 
It is also one of the reasons that I can often feel far more isolated than many people understand. I am considerably older than most of people in the drug law reform movement and most of those who are my age, are not being completely open and honest about their own drug use in the way that I am. Unlike younger drug law reformers, I am not surrounded by a cohort of friends who are supportive of their life choices, or blessed by a societal expectation drug use is something that young people do.
 
I had spent 15 years in the Army prior to starting down this path. Very few of my friends used drugs and when I went public, many found it far too confrontational do deal with and applied far to little empathy, or understanding to my situation.
Rather than try to manage complexity, they simply bailed.
 
In some ways, the stigma is worse for older drug users, because society generally accepts that  young people will use drugs and will “grow out of it”, so the older drug user is something of an anomaly.

Over the last Easter holiday break, while camping (as in homeless) with my dog, Saasha, I introduced myself to a group of adults in their early forties. Discussion got around to tents and I mentioned that I had bought the one I presently own in order to attend raves and doofs and would preferably use a smaller one for camping. Without any prompting on my part, they asked specifically if I used drugs while at these events and I said that I did. The response was typically hostile, as they then began to lecture me on how I should “grow up” and asked “at what point do you start to take responsibility for your life?”. 

This was especially ironic and hypocritical, because going to dance parties and taking drugs was something that they admitted to doing in their mid twenties. Doubly so, because as they were lecturing a complete stranger (they’d known me all of 30 minutes by then) on being irresponsible, they were busily sucking down on the most dangerous drug of all: Alcohol.

In my mid twenties I already had already completed four years of full time Army service (ironically enough, as a tank soldier). Despite using cannabis prior to enlistment, I made a commitment to stop using illicit drugs of any kind when I joined and maintained that commitment throughout my service.

So instead of being out, partying and taking drugs, I chose to put place myself in a highly disciplined, regimented environment, where I spent my time training and being ready to put my life on the line in defence of their sorry, judgemental arses.

In rejecting me because I am a drug user, or have been arrested for the possession of a drug, people aren’t judging me for who I am and what I represent, but instead because of something I do that has zero impact upon them.

That is sad, on so many levels!

Knowing the friend who sent the text, I understand that their response is based on fear. They’ve never even linked to me on Facebook, because they were afraid of being seen by friends and family as being associated with a “druggie”. Similarly, last year a potential girlfriend said (after admitting that she was attracted to me), “my friends would never understand me going out with a drug user”.

For too many people, all I am and all I’ll ever be is summed up by the toxic and stigmatising label: Drug User.
 

This is the reality of the stigma that people like myself experience on a daily basis. But the oppression inherent in this attitude poisons the lives of literally millions of Australia’s illicit drug users, who have yet to come out about their life choices and have instead chosen to live their lives in the shadow of their fear.

But fear works both ways and it is the worst thing to give into. I say this after having spent decades of my life allowing my fears to dominate who I was, and who I could become.

Certainly, in many ways, I always been far less fearful than many of my peers, doing things such as joining the army, rappelling from tall buildings and any one of a number of stupid and dangerous things that could have gotten me killed.

But when I look back at my life until even a couple of years ago, I my experience is of a man paralysed with fear in so many different ways, especially when it came to relationships and friendships. By far, the emotion that has lead to the worst regrets of my life has been fear. Inevitably it seems that when I’ve acted badly towards others, the underlying problem has been a because I was afraid that if I communicated, or acted honestly, I would be rejected or hurt.

Without my even realising it, FEAR ruled the first 40 years of my life. So, I never discovered that if we never face our fears, we never learn that they are figments of our imagination, rather than actual slices of reality. 

And then one day, during 2010, I felt “Enough!”

I was sick of pretending to be someone who I wasn’t, so went public about who I really was. For once, I faced my fear. But in facing my fear, I discovered my True Self!

I discovered that giving into the fear is the one thing that gives them power over us. Once we challenge them, we discover that, while they contain a hint of truth, fears are most often illusions of our own creation. Once we see them for the trap they are, we can see that there is a reality that we can create that exists beyond those fears.

And it is Beautiful! 🙂

Ironically, much of what I had feared has come to pass. I am unemployable in my chosen profession (counselling; who wants a counsellor who is a “druggie”?) and unable to complete a Masters degree in Psychology. I have been rejected by some of those who I cared about the most. At times, I have felt more isolated than I could ever have imagined.

But, despite everything, my life has a story and that story is filled with meaning and purpose. Intriguingly, despite all the setbacks, I’ve never once doubted that my path is the one that I am supposed to be on and that the story I am telling, through my actions and deeds, is one that needs to be told.

But fear isn’t something that ever disappears. Like some terrible phoenix, new fears always arise out of the ashes of the old. My recent fear of getting arrested was only the latest to crumble before the reality of its occurrence. My fear of going to prison shimmers before me and who knows what other fears will loom ahead?

The difference between who I was and who I am today is that I recognise that to give into fear is to give up hope and to give up growth. Today, I’m so poor that church mice lend me money (banks stopped doing that ages ago…) and things are often very difficult, but my life has been enriched in ways that even I still don’t fully understand.

Granted, I’m hardly the poster child for not allowing your fears to govern your life. But if it came down to a choice between being isolated because of who I am and what I believe, or living a life of fear and lies, I am more than happy to be the man in my shoes!

Fear robs us of far more than the opportunities to enrich our lives through facing the challenges life throws at us.

By giving into fear, people like my friend who sent the text, are going to spend their Eternity never being friends with the truly admirable people who have been arrested because they sought to stand up for freedom from oppression. Without the courage to confront their fears, such people will dump some of the greatest human beings in their lives and will be diminished accordingly.

My friends will never allow themselves to know Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr, Lady Constance Georgina Bulwer-Lytton, Martin Niemoller**, Ghandi, or any of the millions of wonderful, but nameless people I could mention, if only history had bothered to record their sacrifice. Heck, more than half the world’s population literally worship a guy who got arrested!

Now, lest should the mindless hordes of Social Media take offence that I should be comparing myself to these great people, I would simply say that as of 19 April, 2016, I now share with each of these worthies the distinction of having being arrested in the course of fighting against bigotry and for freedoms that others in my society already enjoy.

However, my courage in doing so is greatly diminished by the obvious fact that unlike each of these people, I am not fighting a dictatorial system and it is highly unlikely that anyone is going to beat, or kill me (although I have been abused on several occasions) for standing up for freedom. So, no in the courage department, I am definitely not in the league of these great men and women.

However, the point of this post isn’t to bitch about how poorly some people might treat me***, nor is it to bask in the glow of other’s achievements. Its not even about trying to convince others to “come out of the closet” and join me in openly, honestly and fearlessly proclaiming who they are (Although that wouldn’t be such a bad thing if we all went public. They can’t arrest 15% of the population!)

Rather, I simply seek to point out the truth that if you allow your fears to rule your life, you’ll be missing out on the very best that Eternity has to offer.

In 2012, before I began my 28 day hunger strike one of my former colleagues said that she despaired for what had happened to me and my career in the two years since I had gone public. She asked me what I would think if on my deathbed I looked back and all I had to show for my life was failure and unfulfilled potential.

My reply was that if I were on my deathbed, my biggest regret would be if I lived the “normal” life, because I was rendered inert by my fears and failed to take the difficult path that I knew in my heart to be the right one.

A life worth living isn’t a life of popularity, ease, wealth, or even “success” however it is defined by society, or even the self. It is a life of meaning and purpose, spent facing down your fears and finding the strength to overcome the challenges that are inevitably thrown your way. Live your life being controlled by your fears and you’ll not only be living a life not of your own choosing, but you’ll never have the courage to see the very best of yourself and your own potential for greatness.

Facing your fears is risky for all sorts of reasons, but do you really want to spend Eternity trapped inside them? Doesn’t that sound a lot like Hell?

So, in the words of Susan Jeffers “Feel the fear and do it anyway”! ****

 

*NOTE: As of the time of this writing, I do not actually have a “criminal record”. While I have been arrested and charged with the possession of LSD, any conviction is months, or even years away.

 

**Niemöller is perhaps best remembered for the quotation:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

 

***OK. Maybe just a little! 😉

 

****Ironically, I read this book when it first came out and have spoken about it endlessly with dozens, if not hundreds of people, without ever realising just how little I had grasped its true meaning. Or perhaps I did, but was far too successful a hypocrite to ever notice my own lies to myself.

Drug Law Reform, Religion, Transcendent Compounds

Putting drug policy on Trial after LSD arrest

3 Comments

Last week, on 19th April, 2016, I was arrested for the possession of LSD as I went to celebrate Bicycle Day, by taking a single tab of LSD on the steps of the Victorian Parliament House, much as I have done on four previous occasions. As always, the intent of the protest is “to achieve regulated access to Transcendent Compounds for spiritual and religious use” and my actions are in protest of the Victorian Government’s continued denial of fundamental Human Rights that are available to Victorians of fairly much every other spiritual and religious belief.

 

Saasha after Greg Kasarik's Arrest for LSD possession

Greg Kasarik’s Golden Retriever, Saasha waits patiently for his return after his arrest for LSD possession. In the background is the sign he bought with him on the day, which is titled, “Tripping on the Steps with LSD”

Now that I have been arrested myself and other members of Community of Infinite Colour (Australia) Incorporated along with other supporters will be using it as an opportunity to put the Victorian Government’s drug policies on trial!

Given our past experiences, none of us expected me to be arrested and initially, there was some fluffing about by the Protective Service Officers, as they seemed unsure as to whether the best course of action. I made it clear that I was cool if they arrested me, but I would rather take my tab, make our protest and enjoy and afternoon of sunshine, chilled music and chatting with people.

This came to an immediate end, once a uniformed Police Sergeant came on the scene and was informed of my intention to take LSD, at which point he made an immediate, unhesitating decision to arrest and my fate, was sealed!

I was in possession of two tabs of LSD. One which I have been carrying around with me for the last several years, so that if the politicians ever got off their arses I could be arrested at any stage.

This was also the tab that I carried into police stations on three separate occasions, in 2013, when I sought to inform the police of what I did and to invite them to arrest me if they so wished.  On each occasion, the police made it clear that they had better things to worry about than someone who is actually admitting to a crime!

Not that anyone can really blame them. LSD is not a nasty drug like alcohol and doesn’t have the same disastrous impacts on emergency service members, as they strive to keep our citizens and communities safe and well.

The second tab of LSD was carried in a book called “Why Good Things Happen to Good People“, by Dr Stephen Post.* More specifically, it was at the beginning of Chapter 6, which discusses “The Way of Courage: Speak Up, Speak Out”.  Hopefully, in deliberately getting arrested, when I could have simply stayed home, I have shown some small degree of courage.

After my arrest, I was taken to the police precinct in Docklands, interviewed, fingerprinted and released on bail, with a court date of 28 September 2016.

All in all, I couldn’t have been more impressed with the courtesy, respect and good humour demonstrated by the police during my time in custody. Although I suspect that they were more than a bit bemused the circumstances of it all and grateful for my own willing participation in their processes.

I should also express thanks to the PSOs, who looked after my wonderful dog, Saasha and my friend Nick Wallis from Enpsychedelia, and a certain gent by the name of Adam, who took her under their care until I could pick her up.

Upon release from court, I was in contact with members of the scientific and Alcohol and Other Drug research community who were happy to let me know that I had their support and that they’d make sure that when I face the supreme court, I have the appropriate expert witnesses on my side.

At the international level, I have been in touch with the founder of one of the world’s leading research organisation and informed that we have his “full support!!” (for clarity, the exclamations are his!!)

As I’ve made clear in a number of previous posts, the scientific consensus regarding Transcendent Compounds, is clear. And getting clearer by the day!

With the scientific research community expressing support, from here, we will be looking at obtaining competent legal advice. Prior to my arrest, I was in contact with a couple of high profile lawyers, but they have expressed concerns as to whether I would be successful in obtaining a referral to the Supreme Court on religious, or spiritual grounds. However, if needs be I will defend myself in court, as the facts of the matter are both straightforward and uncontestable.

We will be using the legal argument that I have developed over the last five years and it is our intention to make full use of the Victorian Charter of Human Rights Act (2006) and its protections of:

“the right to freedom of thought, conscience, religion and belief, including- … the freedom to demonstrate his or her religion or belief in worship, observance, practice and teaching, either individually or as part of a community, in public or in private.”

Personally, I believe that we will have no issues with allaying the concerns of the lawyers. The spiritual and religious use of Transcendent Compounds is an ancient practice that predates the Government’s “War on Drug Users” by thousands of years and will, if we have any say in the matter, still be a crucial aspect of religious practice tens of thousands of years after the small minded, bigoted instigators of this useless, intolerant “war” (and myself for that matter) are all forgotten in the dust of archeology.

During my interview with the police, I specifically requested that the police prosecutor on the day of my appearance at the Melbourne Magistrate’s Court support referring the case to the Victorian Supreme Court, because if I am merely convicted and sentenced on that day, then on the very next day, I (and possibly others) will be back on the steps for a rinse and repeat and will keep it up until such a time as I am able to get to the Victorian Supreme Court and put the Victorian Government’s discriminatory drug policies on trial!

Fact is having being arrested once, its a bit of “been there, done that” and any further arrests will be more of a nuisance than anything.

We will be keeping everyone up to date on developments both here at kasarik.com and through social media and whatever other outlets we can.

However, one exciting bit of news is that in the coming months, the religious not-for-profit, “Community of Infinite Colour (Australia) Incorporated” will be opening its doors to the public in the Melbourne suburb of Bayswater.

While it is our intent to offer the kinds of counselling and pastoral services found in any religious organisation, we’ll also be conducting happiness workshops and helping people to discover their own special niche within the Infiniverse!

As a post-dogmatic religion and based on the “Principles” Community’s role isn’t to tell you what to believe, but rather to help you discover what most makes sense to you and to help you become the most fulfilled, compassionate and joyous person that you can be.

We also don’t take ourselves too seriously, which is why my official title (as spiritual leader) within the group is “Herder of Cats“. Which actually describes what I try to do quite well indeed! 🙂

However, one of our purposes states that we will:

“Promote, foster and facilitate the safe use of Transcendent and Sacred Compounds as individually valid, although not communally necessary, expressions of spiritual practice and Divine connection”.

So, despite the fact that we won’t be distributing Transcendent Compounds on the premises, it probably won’t be terribly long before the whole “psychedelic religion” thing gets picked up by the media and things get interesting once more! 🙂

Stay tuned for more! 🙂

*NOTE: Not sure if Dr Stephen Post will appreciate the sublimity surrounding his inclusion in the days festivities.

I encourage everyone to buy and read his book, which is all about how being generous is, in and of itself, a huge contributor to the health and wellbeing of generous people.

Happiness, Mysticism, Transcendent Compounds

Choosing Your Journey and Losing Your Way

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Farside Happy in Hell

 

Happy in Hell – Gary Larson’s Farside.
http://www.thefarside.com/

Today’s post is a little different from your usual blog. This is a response that I wrote to a Facebook friend who was hoping for some sort of validation and reassurance for his journey ahead. In all honesty, I don’t know if I have really helped him as much as he may have wanted, but I found that in responding to him, I had finally put in words some of the aspects of my philosophy and my recent journey that I had previously not disclosed to others.

I thought I would put this up as a blog post for two reasons. Firstly to highlight some of my current thinking, but also as an opportunity for some of my friends, supporters and acquaintances to have a deeper understanding of where my journey has taken me over the last two years, so they might have some greater insight and understanding into precisely what it is that I have experienced and achieved over that time.

Frankly, looking in from the outside it probably doesn’t look like I’ve achieved a hell of a lot, but from the point of what matters, my progress has been phenomenal.

 

My friend initially wrote:

I am so pathetic,looking at Facebook hoping for some message of hope that will give me reason to feel like what’s ahead of me is not going to be as hard as it looks like it will. Should I stop looking or just keep getting stronger and more determined each time I am disappointed. The later I guess.

Is this a familiar feeling amount you my Facebook friends ? — feeling tired.

 

Hiya, I fully understand what it is like to stand solitary and alone in a world that not only doesn’t seem to care, but seems determined to isolate you and tear you down.

I have found that the strength to keep on going comes from my recognition of who I am and the path that I am on. Although, in truth, talking about having the “strength”, to do what I do is a misnomer. I do what I do, because it is a reflection of who I am and the path on which I travel often seems like the path of least resistance, because to travel another path would mean becoming an entirely different person. 

It may be that right now you are not entirely certain of who you are and what you represent. Like everyone, you undoubtedly have an idealised view of who you would like to be, but you have not yet fully stepped into that person. Externally, you put forward a particular image, but you know that that image isn’t reflective of the turmoil within. 

This is something that you will always experience, as it is an inevitable consequence of the monkey suit that we all wear. But the power to choose who you are and who you wish to become is entirely within your own self. 

For example, I decided years ago that I was going to be “one of the happy ones”. Whether I am around for an eternity, or only a few years more, I don’t see the point in not enjoying it, so I committed myself to being happy and to bringing joy into the world. I decided that I was not going to pretend to be anybody that I wasn’t and that I was going to cast off the shackles of fear that held me bound. 

This was a significant contributor to my decision to start campaigning for drug law reform and to come out into the open as a mystic and a person who uses Transcendent Compounds for spiritual purposes. I faced my fears in so many ways. I took to the streets, I did a 28 Hunger Strike, I took LSD on the steps of parliament and I invited the wrath of the authorities onto my head. I stood proud in who I had chosen to be.

And then the wheels fell off.

I looked around and despite all of my efforts, felt like I had no real supporters and no real success. Yes, there were a few dozen people who agreed with me and liked what I was doing, but there was no groundswell to carry me forward. Even worse, rather than react to what I was doing, the politicians and media simply ignored me. It was easier for them to deny me the oxygen that recognition, or criminal charges and a Supreme Court case would have given me. They knew that if they ignored me, I would run out of steam and my campaign would most likely flounder on their indifference. Its politics 101 for handling difficult people and difficult issues.

Other aspects of my situation also conspired to undermine my sense of self. Ongoing rejection by friends and family, lack of a girlfriend, chronic unemployment and social isolation bought on by living in a small country town as well as the insomnia that has plagued me since childhood all sunk their dark roots into my mind. 

Over the course of twelve months from the beginning of 2012, my thinking gradually shifted, and while I still thought of myself as “one of the Happy Ones”, I was anything but. By the beginning of 2013, I was getting into suicidal territory. I could (and sadly often did) recite everything that was bad in my life, but nothing that was good.

It turned out that I was fortunate indeed. I have a very good friend and supporter, who runs Ayahuasca circles. From March to June 2013, over the course of three powerful journeys, I was first shown that my actual path was precisely 180 degrees to my imagined path. Where I had conceptualised myself as one of the Happy Ones, I had in fact become one of the Miserable Ones. Where initially I had developed mindfulness techniques that had bought me into joy, these were now perverted towards reminding me of the pain. 

After this startling revelation, I immediately rededicated these mindfulness techniques once more towards generating happiness and joy. Almost overnight, I transformed my direction back to the one I had been on in the years before I lost the path. 

Six weeks after the first Ayahuasca experience since loosing my way, my second Ayahuasca journey was one of pure and total bliss. As you will know, Ayahuasca isn’t like MDMA (AKA ecstasy)  and doesn’t of itself produce ecstatic experiences. Rather it reflects the journey of the individual and the content of their mind. I spent the six hour journey connected directly to the Divine Aspect of Joy. Even the purging (aka vomiting) was joyous! The very clear message I received was that this is what I could achieve if I put the work into it. 

Six weeks later (and after still more hard work: changing direction does not entail immediate success), in the final journey of that series I once more experienced an incredibly blissful journey, but not as powerfully as the second time. I was cool with this, however, because the message I received was that this time the joy that I was experiencing was my own, generated from within, rather than being imposed from without.

Mother Ayahuasca also let me know that we would part ways for a while, because I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet and that we’d do some further work when I was ready for her next lessons. These have yet to begin.

Back in the monkey suit, things are still difficult and if looked at objectively, they are getting worse. I’m still rejected by my family, have no girlfriend, am unemployed and live in an isolated country town (well village…). I still feel like I have no real traction in my campaign for drug law reform and little support outside of a few faithful friends and idealists. (who regularly tell me to stop imagining things and being so bloody hard on myself…) Even worse, my car recently died and I am even more isolated than before. It seems that nobody ever visits.

But I have managed to keep hold of that joy and keep hold of who I am. Things are difficult, but I have realised that things are only difficult because it is when things are difficult that the one’s true nature emerges. Almost anyone can be happy when things are going well. It takes true commitment and purpose to be able to retain that sense of happiness and joy, even as the world seems to be doing its worst to you.

Because the reality is that the world is not doing its worst to me. I am healthy, have a roof over my head, have enough food in my tummy and enough money to buy luxuries like chocolate and lollies. I’m even a few kilos overweight… Even on the unemployment benefit, I am still in the top 15% of income earners on this planet and one of the wealthiest humans to have ever lived.

I have an adorable Golden Retriever who routinely channels Joy and Happiness in a way that I can only admire (she is so cute!). I still have real friends, who care deeply about me and worry for me. I know that those friends and family who have rejected me have done so not because they don’t love me, or care about me, but simply because they don’t understand. Their rejection is an aspect of their own fears and uncertainty and it is my responsibility to help them deal with those issues, rather than take their rejection to heart. 

I am fortunate enough to live in a vibrant, peaceful democracy, where individual rights are respected. While I have been ignored by the government and police, I haven’t been arrested, or tortured, as would have happened if I lived in almost any other country that you could choose.

To sum it all up in a few words: I’m incredibly lucky.

I have so much to be grateful for that it shames me to think of how I so easily lost sight of reality. 

Today, the difference is that I have truly stepped into being the person that I had wanted to become. Unlike 99% of people on this planet, I know who I am and what my purpose is: I am a being of Light and my purpose is Joy. 

When darkness beckons it is my inner Light that keeps it at bay and my inner light exists because every day I choose to manifest it. 

This doesn’t mean that I am perfect. I’m not some amazing spiritual guru, or Master. I haven’t achieved Enlightenment and I still am overwhelmed by my own ignorance.

I am an aspect of the Divine, but I am not a Divine Aspect. Like everyone else on this planet, I am trapped in the monkey suit. I can still be as selfish, mean spirited and greedy as the next person. I still whine, bitch, moan, complain and seek to blame others for my faults. My ego, pride and desire for recognition still battle for ascendancy. Each day, I still grapple with the fear and isolation and rejection. My sense of personal injustice can burn like a knife.

So, each day (or each hour, or every second if needs be) I recommit myself to the path that I have chosen. I remind myself that I have decided to be one of the Happy Ones and I consciously reconnect myself to the Divine Aspect of Joy. Some days it is easy, while on others it seems overwhelming, but irrespective of how bad things are, I know where the path I am on is taking me and I know where my ultimate destination lies. 

The thing is that one doesn’t need a life shattering Ayahuasca journey to get where I am today. In reality, I had already done all the hard work in the years prior to my losing my way. 

The hardest part of the journey was my initial realisation, the better part of a decade ago, that I could choose a path and then figuring out how to maintain my course on that path. When I wandered off the path, I fell into a chasm, but once I recognised the chasm for what it was, it was my previous training in mindful happiness that allowed me to climb out and resume my journey, albeit with greater wisdom and respect for the dangers ahead. 

As an aspiring aspect of Divine Joy, I certainly hope that the path that you choose mirrors mine and that you similarly commit yourself to happiness and joy. But there are an infinite number of paths in the Light and seriousness is just as valid, if not as much fun. The key is to identify what your path is and to continually commit yourself to it. By doing so, your actions and decisions will be reflective of this path, and you’ll know within yourself when you have not been true to yourself. 

If on reflection, you realise that you have committed yourself to a darker aspect of the Divine (such as misery, pride, or ego), it is always in your power to change it, simply by choosing and committing to a new, brighter path. Yes, you will have to learn new habits and new modes of thinking and behaving and this may take lifetimes, but once you’ve decided to navigate away from the rocks, your eventual safety is assured. 

If, like me you find yourself far from your intended path, the realisation may sneak up gradually, or hit you like a lightning bolt. In all honesty, I knew that I had strayed months before (Joy does not equal suicidal!) but my ego and pride prevented me from admitting it to myself. Being “One of the Happy Ones” had ceased to be a journey and become an identity, or brand; and I was a fanboi.

The thing to remember is that you will fall of the path. We all do and doing so is a necessary part of the journey. For it is only through making mistakes that we learn and grow. It is only through recognising and admitting our error, while taking ownership of our behaviour, that we can truly recommit ourselves to our path. Success is built on repeated failure and each time we fall by the wayside, we not only remind ourselves of the importance of the journey, but also practice the skills we will need for the more difficult times ahead. 

And there will be more difficult times ahead. The path to Heaven goes directly through Hell, because it is only by maintaining a commitment to Joy and Happiness under the most extreme circumstances of deprivation that we can truly demonstrate our commitment to the path that we have chosen. I am reminded of a Far Side cartoon, where two demons are looking at a man in hell whistling as he goes about his work and saying, “You know, were just not reaching that guy”. He’s in Hell, but he carries Heaven within him.

Similarly, the path to Hell goes directly through Heaven, because it is only the most determinedly dark person who is impenetrable to the incredible, wonderful power of Divine Joy. I know many people who are living lives of privilege and comfort, with support that I could only dream of, yet who are consumed by misery and self loathing. They are bathed in light, but carry a darkness to which it is impervious.

So don’t expect justice and don’t expect the universe to be fair. Don’t expect that everything will turn out OK over the course of this lifetime. It is your commitment over Eternity that determines who you are, not the vagaries of a particular life story, or universe in which you happen to briefly reside.

Contrary to what many people will tell you, there are no shortcuts and the only “Secret” is hard work and dedication. Don’t fall for the nonsense that all you need is a bit of wishful thinking and that the universe is going to respond to your whim, or give you what you want because you ask.

It doesn’t and it won’t: As any parent will tell you, it is only through not giving you what you want that your true character is forged. If you got whatever you wanted and were never challenged, you’d never have an opportunity to grow and you’d stagnate into a spoilt husk with no purpose, no meaning and no identity beyond narcissistic want.

It’s when you maintain your inner light, even when you don’t receive justice and you aren’t treated fairly that you demonstrate that you are truly committed to your path. 

With your inner Light shining bright, the injustices and tribulations of this world (or even “hell”) will shrink into nothingness (or at least become manageable), because irrespective of how dark the universe seems to be, it will always be lit by the light that you carry within you. You’d be amazed at how bright even a candle can be on the darkest of nights! 

Looking at your opening post, I honestly don’t know if this is the sort of thing that you were hoping that Facebook would provide, but I hope this gives you some hope and potentially helps you find your way forward in a difficult world. 

Remember: Darkness always shrinks before the Light. 

And I could always be completely full of shit! 😉

Greg Kasarik

Herder of Cats.

Transcendent Compounds

LSD, Bicycle Day and My Imminent Arrest

Taking LSD on the steps of Parliament House

Taking LSD on the Steps of The Victorian Parliament House -12 Dec 2012

19 April 2014 marks the 71st anniversary of the first deliberate injection of LSD and the commencement of the psychedelic era. Each year, that day is celebrated as Bicycle Day and this year, I will once again be publicly taking LSD and tripping on the steps of the Victorian Parliament House.

The difference from last year is that this time I will be doing my best to ensure that I get arrested.

As can be appreciated, a few people are expressing concern that what I am doing is going to make things worse for those of us who use Transcendent Compounds. Others have wondered why I bother to pursue such a quixotic crusade in the first place.

 

One of my friends emailed me a question that goes to the heart of many of the concerns that have been raised. I thought that I’d post her question, along with my (slightly edited after the fact) response here, so that people can obtain a better understanding of why I do what I do.

 

Question: “Hey Greg,

I thought about your plan more… It seems like a bad idea to me because I think it’ll be really negative publicity for LSD and transcendental substances in general. I don’t feel like we are particularly restricted in terms of access & enjoyment of these substances at the moment in Victoria… Obviously can’t buy at the supermarket but I feel free to do what self exploration I like

 

I feel like if you go ahead with this court case the negative publicity it’ll create for LSD use will undo some of the progress we’ve made towards public acceptance.

 

How do you think it’ll actually be positive For the psychedelic community? What do you feel is wrong with how things are now?”

 

My answer:

Hiya. I can feel the fear in your response. Its like you are pleading, “don’t make things worse!”

 

There is no “public acceptance” of LSD, or other Transcendent Compounds. Most people aren’t even aware of the spiritual dimension of the LSD experience. I am continually educating people I meet and I’d say that perhaps one in twenty are even vaguely aware of what we do.

 

The only recent mentions of LSD in the mainstream media were incorrect claims that young people had died after taking the drug, when in fact these kids had most likely taken entirely different “legal highs”.

 

When towards the end of 2012, NSW police told the media that a kid had overdosed on LSD, they didn’t question it, despite the sheer impossibility, or ask how a teenager could have obtained and ingested over ten thousand dollars worth of LSD. Like sheep, they simply repeated the lie and never bothered to discover the truth. The real story was why the police media unit would release such blatant lies and how creating propaganda and spreading irrational fear of perfectly safe drugs benefits their own agenda. Modern journalism is a far cry from the investigative zeal of the Watergate affair that bought down President Nixon.

 

The stupidity of promulgating lies is that people are now going to think that LSD is toxic and in doing so actively avoid the safest drug on the planet, most likely in favour of the very drugs that did kill the kid.

 

Sure, you can find LSD on the black market and pick shrooms, but the Entheogenic Community, to the extent that it exists is insular, paranoid and steeped in fear. Ironically on more than one occasion, I’ve been accused of being an undercover cop, simply because I am so open about what I am doing. Surely, I must be part of some elaborate sting operation?

 

The stigma associated with drug use is as palpable as it is irrational and unfair.

 

I have been denied employment on account of my use of these substances. I was publicly denounced in a professional association meeting where people were told to not hire me. I can’t continue my studies in Psychology, because I would be deregistered as soon as I registered. I know at least three psychologists who use these substances, but they are afraid to come out and talk about that use, because they’d be immediately de-registered. And its not only psychologists. I know doctors, nurses and even engineers who are similarly impacted.

 

There are people who won’t be seen with me in public. More than one person refuses to even link to my facebook page, because they don’t want others to see that they know me. Even people who have known me for years and who I regarded as friends now consider me as being nothing more than a “druggie”.

 

I know at least six people who wouldn’t dream of attending one of my events because they are afraid that if they are seen on camera with me, it will negatively impact their jobs, prospects and standing in the community. Others are afraid that to be publicly associated with me would give their ex partners a way to take children from them, or restrict visitation rights.

 

And heaven forbid if your children should ever go to school and mention to the teacher that you use LSD, or one of the other Transcendent Compounds! Nearly everybody that I know refuses to tell their own children about one of the most beautiful things in their lives, simply because kids will inevitably tell other kids and teachers may find out. From there it is only a short step to horrors of a Child Protection visit.

 

The status quo is incredibly corrosive and destructive and needs to be challenged. The similarities between where we are right now and where the GLBT community was before the Stonewall riots are uncanny. Like you, there were many people in that community who were afraid to step out and who felt that additional publicity would only make things worse.

 

They were wrong!

 

Within ten years of discovering the courage to be open about who they were homosexuality was made legal in many places around the world. If we did the same, we’d experience the same gains, if for no other reason than there are more of us.

 

Do you really believe that there is nothing wrong with using Transcendent Compounds? Do you believe that it is a healthy activity and one that should be encouraged, providing it is done in a respectful and empathetic way?

 

If so, why would you champion a dysfunctional status quo where you can’t even talk openly and honestly about who you are, what you believe and what you accept is the good? Sure, you might be OK now, but what about in ten years when you have a family, a job and a life to keep together?

 

If you are like most most, you’ll probably sacrifice this aspect of your life for the sake of convenience and respectability. In doing so, you’ll give up a key part of who you are.

 

I’m not content to scurry around like a cockroach and avoid the light of day. What I do is good and healthy and I’ll challenge anyone who says otherwise.

 

Sadly, on account of the fact that people generally don’t want to hire a “druggie”, I don’t have great wads of cash to throw around making my case. So I do what I can with what I have.

 

What better place to put my case then an independent tribunal? What better place to challenge legal bigotry than a court of law?

 

By going to court, I am going to do the one thing that those behind the War on Drugs don’t want me to do. I am going to challenge them using laws they wrote and freedoms that everybody holds dear. I’ll be doing so in an independent forum, where their lies, bullshit and propaganda aren’t going to be accepted. If I go to court, I will rely entirely on peer reviewed science and demand that the government do the same.

 

Indeed, they won’t have a choice, because the wording of the Victorian Charter of Human Rights and Responsibilities Act (2006) demands that litigants rely on “demonstrably justifiable” evidence and the only demonstrably justifiable evidence worthy of the name is peer reviewed science. Everything else is anecdote and hearsay.

 

The science is very clear. People can say all they want about LSD and other drugs in the media. They can lie. They can bullshit. They can cherry pick anecdotal “evidence”. But in a court of law, all of this is meaningless. In a court of law, what matters is the evidence. What matters is the truth. Judges value their independence and aren’t going to roll over like puppies to have their tummies scratched simply because the Government tells them they should.

 

I have great trust in our democratic institutions in Australia. I trust that if I present the evidence, the court will listen. I know that the Victorian Government simply has no case to put, should this end up in court. The science is entirely in our favour and they will lose!

 

Yes, I’ll still be convicted of possession, because the Charter doesn’t override laws themselves. But if the highest court in the land accepts the science that will be a huge win for us and our way of life. It will make clear that prohibition on the religious and spiritual use of Transcendent Compounds is based more on ignorance and bigotry, than any facts about the world.

 

I am not content to live my life as a lie. I am not content to pretend to be someone who I am not. I am not content to allow evil to triumph over good. I am not content to let deception triumph over truth. I will fight for what I believe in until my last gasp of breath. And I will WIN!

 

Could what I am doing make things worse? Well of course there is that possibility. But the one thing that I do know is that giving in to our fears never makes things better.